Like Vampire Melonhead on Facebook, and I'll promise you BFF status!

What is this Vampire Melonhead, you ask? Only, like the most AWESOME band ever. Check it out. Consider your day to be MADE. You're welcome.

This is your BFF status as soon as you click LIKE:

Shiz I Do At Work Besides, Well, Work.

1. Check Facebook at the minimum of 10 times through out the day. Little of it is actually interesting.
2. Look at kool kids' Tumblrs. Get nervous because people might be concerned.
3. Think of the wonderful things I could be doing outside, even though when I go home, I stay inside and watch Seinfeld reruns and SpongeBob.
4. Look at James Dean pictures on Google for about 2 hours minimum. It's my form of worship or something.
5. Contemplate answering the phones with a British accent, or on Fridays, a New York accent. Never go through with it.
6. Spin around in my spinny spin chair of spintastic spinfulness spinocity in utter spinstacy.
7. Look up Charlie Sheen quotes, even though I already know most of them by heart.
8. Contemplate the meaning of life. Which usually results in a headache.

Whatever. This WHOLE WEEK has been the crusty butthole of a dead unicorn, and yeah. So, I'm going to post this My Chemical Romance video because maybe I have some teen angst issues I have to come to terms with. Ugh.

Whatever. Gerard Way understands my problems.

I understand now why people snap and go on manic killing sprees, and car chases, and go completely nuts.

BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

Charlie Sheen, I feel ya, man.

One day, it'll be legal to give people in home lobotomies so they can all be stupid on purpose.