Hello, I'm Mary Poppins. Nice to meet you.

SO, for everyone wondering what I keep hidden in my heavy, giant purse, here it is. Does it surprise you that there aren't any small animals in it? Well that's because I hid them.

Clockwise from Bag (Huge, ugly, black thing at the right): Zune HD, Harajuku Lovers perfume in "G" with "Love" lid, Very Holywood by Michael Kors, Lighter for lighting stuff, my fancy chapstick collection, my keys, Arizona Tea packets, Hello Kitty Band-Aids, USB thingy, Burt's Bee's cuticle crap, Mini bottle of Viva la Juicy, pencil lead, Nintendo DS games, mini nail file, mini glitter mascara (totally useful), Fancy German pens, Nintendo DS, Wallet with absolutely NO money in it, eyeshadow brush kit, lipstick, hair ties, Physician's Formula Happy Booster powder, cheap sunglasses, Covergirl foundation, Bath and Body Works Hawaiian Coconut lotion, MORE coconut lotion, a unnecessarily large collection of pens, all my lipglosses that I forget I have so I just throw more lipglosses into my purse, Psssst! Dry shampoo (lifesaver, because I'm disturbingly lazy), my notebook with bad poetry, doodles and pictures (it's open to the public, just ask to see it), "I Love Boys" and "I Love Bling" hand sanitizer, gum, PILLS!, makeup bag. I usually have a magazine and some other COMPLETELY USEFUL crap in there, but I recently cleaned this thing out (believe me!) so it's pretty "tame."

Happy Valium-time's Day.

True story: when I was little, I used to call Valentine's Day "Valium-time's Day" which is totally appropriate because I LOATHE Valentine's Day, so much so, it makes me want to pop pills. What a stupid holiday.  So anyway, I hope everyone has a "happy" Valium-time's Day, and I hope your girlfriends don't beat you with a tubesock full of quarters because you didn't get them anything romantic and blah, blah, blah.

And My Valium-Time's Emo Song for the Day:

"Love, Love, Kiss, Kiss"-Alkaline Trio

P.S. The Cosmic Octopus does not indorse pill popping, even if the holiday is a total B.S. waste of holiday.

Does Anybody Want to Shell Out $4,000? Pleaaase?

I want these shoes. Would I wear them? Maybe. Could I wear them without breaking my neck? No. But I don't care.

I Won a Game That Wasn't Candy Land.

Mark this in your calendars people. I won a game. A "complex" game that wasn't made for people in the 3-9 age group. Woo!

I'm just so...so proud of myself. *tear*

Saint Juliette

Ms. Juliette Lewis, Bad Ass.

Quite possibly one of my favorite actresses, out of a select handful of 5. And she sings. And she's not bad at it. Eff yeah!

What's Wrong With Me?

So, if you haven't heard of Flock of Seagulls, ask your parents. Chances are, they have. They're a pretty rad '80s band. Well, any new wave band is pretty awesome, really.

Also, I suggest any one reading this who is a male promptly do their hair like the fashionable young man second from the left. I mean, what a ladykiller.

"I Ran"-Flock of Seagulls.

Saint Kanye

So, I love Kanye West. Nevermind that he likes to interrupt people's award recieving, but ever think that he might have saved the world from listening to Taylor Swift blab on like she actually has talent? Exactly. He's awesome in my book.

Things That Make Me Happy

#3. My Darling Puglii Anne
Can you deny that face? Gah. What a beast. :)

7 Reasons to Not Like Amarillo Texas

1. The "Art Scene" is just a bunch of freaks in plaid trying to shock the inbred hillbillies of Amarillo. Enough with the penises and Jesus pictures. WE GET IT.
2. Two words: Repent Amarillo.
3. No one can drive to save their life. "What's this? A car's coming, and they have the right away? Well, let me just pull out infront of them, because my mother dropped me on my head when I was a baby."
4. Over half of them can't tell you who George Washington was, let alone, their own first name.
5. It either smells like dead grass, cow poop or diesel gas and never just...air.
6. Apparently, it's still the 1600's in terms of our religious views. She's a witch!
7. No one knows what birth control is.

Eff This Snow Shiz

So I'm pretty sure I almost died at least 6 times today. I saw my life, and I'm pretty sure segments of my dog, Puglii Anne's life, flash before my eyes, which is really quite inconvenient since I'm supposed to be watching the road. I'm pretty effing bummed I had to go out into the world today, as though I am quite a pessimist, I have no future plans for kamikaze suicide missions so I could go to work and write my blog. My life is so hard, wah. Also, I have no idea why I decided to wear red lipstick today, as I look like a slut and not the 1940's dahling that I really was going for, and I'm pretty sure someone tried to pick me up today in their car. Bah.

Taking a Stand for the Cute Guys in War Movies

I don't know what these movie makers problems are, but they really need to stop killing off the cute guys.

-Heath Ledger, "The Patriot"

-Giovanni Ribisi- "Saving Private Ryan"



The Science of Sleep

My Life Has Come Down To King of the Hill

I live in East Jesus Nowhere, Texas. I get enough of this crap already, so why, again am I watching it on TV?! Frownyface.

This Is Going to Be Me Tomorrow

"Snow Day-Again" and "Another Snow Day" by Mitchell Davis

The Great James Dean

The trailer for "Rebel Without a Cause" in celebration of the Great James Dean

It's the Great James Dean's Birthday!

Let us join in celebrating!

Beard Lust

I used to like mustaches, but beards are more...lumberjack.

"Beards are wonderful! They help the world by being big bushy friend makers!"- The Marvelous Misadventures of FlapJack

Random Playlist

I'm hideously bored at work. Here's a playlist.
1. "Obsession"-Innerpartysystem
2. "Watching You"- Heavens
3. "United States of Eurasia"-Muse
4. "Nothing Better"- The Postal Service
5. "Cemetery Drive"-My Chemical Romance
6. "Alejandro"-Lady Gaga
7. "Where Is My Mind?"-The Pixies
8. "My Body's a Zombie For You"-Dead Man's Bones
9. "Kisses Over Babylon"- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
10."Bloodbuzz Ohio"-The National.

It's a Tear Jerker

The only video that ever made me cry. Damn you, My Chemical Romance and your ability to make me feel human emotions! Damn you!

Vegetarian Zombie

My BFF Cassidy Cupcake sent this to me on Facebook. Being a vegetarian, I find this hilarious. :)

My Feelings About the World, Presented by Eli Roth

Power Outage :(

So my power went out, just now. I think I can see the outlines of zombies lurking in the shadows. :(

I hope my zombie death goes down painlessly. :(

Things That Make Me Happy

#2. Fight Club
I'd say more, but y'know, I'm not supposed to talk about it.

The Gods of Raeneland

James Dean, Lady Gaga and Salvador Dali.

There are saints, too, but there are far too many...

Speidi Rules!

So what if the Hills are over? I still love them.

Things That Make Me Happy

#1. Crooked and Gapped Teeth

I think they're charming. Braces are for weenies. :)

It's This or Ru Paul.

We could all use a hot guy with guns in a bed at 1:34 in the morning. Just saying.

Golden Movies Pt. 1

1. Inglourious Basterds
2. Fight Club
3. East of Eden
4. Love in Thoughts
5. Pan's Labyrinth
6. One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
7. I'm Not There
8. Juno
9. The Dark Knight
10. Trainspotting
11. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
12. Donnie Darko
13. Ghost World
14. From Dusk till Dawn
15. Gentlemen Broncos

My Inner 13 Year Old Self is Squealing

What a beautiful, beautiful man.



The Coolest Dog in the World

I want one. Now.

I Hate Anime, Manga, Etc.

I despise manga and anime, for reasons unknown to me, but this picture is awesome, and I was not able to deny its awesomeness. Damn you, manga.

Another Epic Picture

I enjoy weird pictures. They enjoy me, somewhere deep inside their acid-free hearts.

This is my favorite picture, perhaps of all time. Just the surrealism in it, it's beautiful.

I Don't Believe in Inspirational Quotes

"We are not special. We are not crap or trash either. We just are. We just are, and whatever happens, just happens."-Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk