Things That Are "Disturbing Yet Awesome"

So I've gotten approximately 50 million (overexaggeration) spam thingies about Osama Bin Laden's "death." As weird as this may seem they inspired me to write this list. Woosha.

1. Platypi- Duck/Beaver hybrid that lays eggs but is considered a mammal. Well I'll just call it a Beavuck. Because it sounds funnier than platypus, and it also sounds *dirty* :).

2. Quentin Tarantino Movies- Blood, guts, no absense of the word "f*ck" and absolutely awesome.

3. Bald cats.

4. Santa Claus- He apparently watches you whilst you are sleeping, completely unaware of this, but it's okay 'cause he's got presents and candy, and let's be honest, some pretty fierce facial hair.

5. My undying love for glitter, Hello Kitty and James Franco.

8. My "Dance" Skills.

7. Baboons. Seriously, that is too much bright and shiny ass for one monkey.

Me Coldheartedly making fun of people in my class:

1. Hair Girl in Psychology: If you continue to toss your funknasty crunchy hair all over MY desk, I will take action. With scissors. And Gorrilla Glue. And feathers. And Googly eyes.
2. Snot Guy in Psychology: Stop loudly snorting up your snot like the redneck you are. It obviously isn't helping. Get a box of Kleenex- it will work wonders. Also, it creeps my friend out that you know her name, and she doesn't know how. Stop.
3. Less-than-Superman in Art History: WTF you're like in your mid 30s. Stop pretending you are superman by wearing your Superman visor, Superman shirts, Superman jacket, and Superman pajama pants. Seriously? Do you have no other pants? Is it wrong to think that you'd wear those damn things to a funeral? Sweet James, man.
4. Loud as Hell Girl in Art History: You arrive late and walk like a hippo with clubbed feet, then you plop down in your desk, hurl your bag that's apparently filled with bricks and animal carcasses on the floor, proceed to go through your papers frantically, like you've actually taken notes, then your cell phone goes off playing ICP bullshaz, and all the while I secretly want to punch you in the face.
5. Creepy Couple in TX Govt: Do you even wipe your butts without eachother?! Seriously. The world will not implode in on itself if you guys aren't around eachother for two damn seconds. It's weird. Weird even for me. And quit staring at me. That's even weirder.
7. Girl that Asks Legitimately Stupid Questions in Art History: Not only are your inquiries COMPLETELY irrelevant to the artwork at hand, but they are completely the most insipid things to ever come crawling out of someone's mouth. SHUT UP.

I'm mean. That's probably why I only have like 4 friends. Ugh. :I

Like Vampire Melonhead on Facebook, and I'll promise you BFF status!

What is this Vampire Melonhead, you ask? Only, like the most AWESOME band ever. Check it out. Consider your day to be MADE. You're welcome.

This is your BFF status as soon as you click LIKE:

Shiz I Do At Work Besides, Well, Work.

1. Check Facebook at the minimum of 10 times through out the day. Little of it is actually interesting.
2. Look at kool kids' Tumblrs. Get nervous because people might be concerned.
3. Think of the wonderful things I could be doing outside, even though when I go home, I stay inside and watch Seinfeld reruns and SpongeBob.
4. Look at James Dean pictures on Google for about 2 hours minimum. It's my form of worship or something.
5. Contemplate answering the phones with a British accent, or on Fridays, a New York accent. Never go through with it.
6. Spin around in my spinny spin chair of spintastic spinfulness spinocity in utter spinstacy.
7. Look up Charlie Sheen quotes, even though I already know most of them by heart.
8. Contemplate the meaning of life. Which usually results in a headache.

Whatever. This WHOLE WEEK has been the crusty butthole of a dead unicorn, and yeah. So, I'm going to post this My Chemical Romance video because maybe I have some teen angst issues I have to come to terms with. Ugh.

Whatever. Gerard Way understands my problems.

I understand now why people snap and go on manic killing sprees, and car chases, and go completely nuts.

BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

Charlie Sheen, I feel ya, man.

One day, it'll be legal to give people in home lobotomies so they can all be stupid on purpose.

It's the Great Lady Gaga's Birthday!

Happy Birthday, Mother Monster! *WASHA!!*